how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
