I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
