I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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