So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
did you just send me my own nude
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
