It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's never too late to be topless.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
