its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
