i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
