okay pat passed out under dana's car
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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