I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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