why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
