apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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