The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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