somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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