can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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