Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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