Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
After last night, I could never be a politician.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
