i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
