ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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