Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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