Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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