I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
