I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
handjob tips. give me some.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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