We're facebook friends in real life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
