i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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