You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dignity is for republicans.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
