I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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