I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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