He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
