kristin has been a bad kristin
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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