how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
