you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
