grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
