Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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