Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
we should paint friendship bongs
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