He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
