ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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