But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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