he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
