"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
