it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
