eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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