summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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