I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
