I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
