No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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