dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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