he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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