i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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