But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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