so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
