Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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