Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
