Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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